LOS ANGELES— The Online LGBT community and its advocates continued to express outrage this week after 80-year-old actor John Lithgow declined to abandon his role as Dumbledore, prompting many to question why a man born in 1945 continues to behave like someone born in 1945.
Critics say Lithgow’s failure to meet the moment by tearing up a high-profile paycheck—at the exact age when most Americans are trying to figure out whether they can safely stand up from the couch—has been especially painful, given that he is currently alive and famous.
“We just expected more from him,” said one disappointed activist, referring to an octogenarian who recently complained that Campbell’s split pea soup was too spicy. “Nobody is asking him to be perfect. We just need him to immediately understand the intersectionality of sex and gender, walk away from what may be his final major role, and do it all while vocally supporting the trans community using the exact correct phrasing.”
The problem for the 80-year-old man first arose when he announced he would be playing the transphobic hate figure Albus Dumbledore, then appeared visibly confused, mistakenly believing the role was for a major character from a beloved children’s book.
Accusations continued to mount when it became apparent Lithgow was not up to date on what J.K. Rowling was saying on X, or that X was once Twitter, or that Twitter was not Facebook.
Family members close to the actor have suggested he may be too old to fully grasp the controversy. “We try to explain it to him, and he just abruptly pivots to how nice it is outside, and how it’s not as hot as it was last year.”
When Them magazine asked Lithgow to respond to the widely circulated open letter addressed specifically to him, Lithgow assured the journalist that he checked his mailbox every day and would write back as soon as it arrived.
Sources close to the production say Warner Bros. has already instituted extensive sensitivity training to ease Lithgow into modern terminology, beginning with broad concepts like “identity” and “spectrum” before slowly working up to “trans person,” at which point something reportedly clicked in the actor and he responded, “Oh, you mean a transvestite? I’ve played one of those in the World According to Garp!” causing three consultants to leave the room and one intern to vomit into a tote bag.
“He didn’t understand why that was wrong,” said one shaken member of WB’s Crisis response team, recounting how John Lithgow refused to believe his Oscar-Nominated role of Roberta, once lauded as a caring portrayal of a Trans Woman, could be a bad thing, “He actually misappropriated the role of a Transgender woman right in front of us and said a few lines. And God help me… There was a voice. He did a voice.”
That same day, the entire PR team resigned en masse to avoid any potential blowback.
“He then said he wanted to see what ‘that J.K. woman was all about,’” Said one overwhelmed family member, “Because apparently that’s what you did back then. You got the full picture or something. We all started screaming ‘No!’ but he wouldn’t listen.”
Friends say Lithgow then made the mistake of taking the matter seriously. Rather than simply posting the PR-approved statement denouncing JK Rowling as a transphobic trash-monster and moving on, the actor reportedly printed out J.K. Rowling’s 4,000-word essay on sex and gender in 72-point font.
“It ate up three ink cartridges,” one family member complained. “And he just sat there reading. Taking notes. For hours. Didn’t once look at his phone.”
After finishing, Lithgow reportedly emerged with the sort of measured, partially sympathetic, context-laden opinion only seen in generations unexposed to TikTok.
Analysts are still struggling to parse the nuance.
“He does not agree with J.K. Rowling… but also does not wish she dies in a fiery car crash. He supports the trans community, but also believes that personally enjoying Harry Potter will not contribute to their death. Honestly, none of it makes sense. He might have dementia.”
As of press time, Lithgow still planned to portray Dumbledore and is now reportedly more concerned with taking naps and watching Antiques Roadshow.