Trump Keeps Posting Homoerotic AI Images of Himself with Shrek
White House is scrambling to explain the obsession.
WASHINGTON, D.C.— White House officials spent Tuesday scrambling to explain why President Donald Trump’s Truth Social account had spent the previous forty-eight hours posting increasingly intimate AI-generated artwork depicting the president in a romantic relationship with Shrek.
On Monday, Stephen Miller took to Fox News to loudly proclaim, “These disturbing images are clearly the work of a DNC-linked Iranian hacking operation—”
He was interrupted by a push notification. Miller glanced down at his phone and grimaced before Fox News cut away to Trump’s latest Truth Social post, which appeared to directly rebut Miller’s live appearance.
“NOT HACKED. 💚🇺🇸” The message appeared above a photorealistic image of Trump reenacting the pottery scene from Ghost with the beloved DreamWorks ogre. Without missing a beat, Miller pivoted.
“This is a complete nothingburger. Who hasn’t shipped themselves with a cartoon?” he said. “Show me a straight guy who says he isn’t attracted to Mrs. Incredible and I’ll show you a liar.”
White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt struggled to account for the posts.
“It’s a joke or metaphor or-or-or satire,” she explained. “Shrek’s green. It’s clearly a reference to the Green New Deal, maybe—whatever. Can we get to a real question?”
Reports from within Pete Hegseth’s Pentagon suggest several military options were briefly discussed in the hopes that a sufficiently dramatic international incident might change the subject. Sources claim the options ranged between bombing an Iranian school bus and saying “Whoopsie,” to deporting detained migrants via catapult.
Vice President JD Vance attempted to normalize the situation during an appearance with Tucker Carlson.
“The man is eighty years old. He just discovered AI,” Vance said. “It’s no different than when your grandpa found Minion memes. We just have to pray he’ll get bored and move on.”
According to aides, however, the president has spent much of the past week enthusiastically discussing Shrek during otherwise unrelated policy meetings.
“Shrek’s a big guy. Strong guy,” Trump reportedly said during a briefing on trade sanctions. “Very handsome. Great jawline. Great shoulders. Great forearms. They don’t make them like Shrek anymore. He’s Scottish too. You gotta love the Scots. Great accent. Great people.”
The president reportedly smiled to himself before quietly adding, “I bet he smells like oak.”
The remark was followed by nearly fifteen seconds of complete silence.
Officials say the artwork has grown steadily more intimate, including what appears to be an ongoing subplot in which Melania Trump discovers an affair between President Trump and Shrek. Many are speculating that the images coincide with reports that First Lady Melania Trump has not returned to the White House for several months.
When asked whether rumors of a life-sized Shrek body pillow inside the Lincoln Bedroom were true, she merely nodded slowly before climbing into a waiting SUV.
Political analysts across the cable news landscape continued searching for hidden meaning.
CNN spent six straight hours connecting the posts to Trump’s corruption. “He promised to drain the swamp,” explained resident analyst and obvious lizard person James Carville, “Instead, he’s clearly fallen in love with the swamp.”
Fox News stuck to their usual whataboutism. “Bill Clinton drew X-rated doodles of Jessica Rabbit on official documents all the time,” Steve Doocy claimed. “You never heard a peep from the mainstream media.”
MSNBC responded with… something. As of posting, we have yet to find an actual viewer of the theoretical cable channel.
The revelation has deeply divided the MAGA movement. “This is obviously trolling,” insisted one supporter. “Shrek’s an ogre. That’s basically a troll. He’s Shrek posting.”
Another disagreed. “I’ve masturbated to Shrek four times this week just trying to get into the president’s headspace,” he nodded vigorously, “...I think I get it now.”
Meanwhile, Trump allies have embraced what online supporters are calling “ShrekMaxxing” in an increasingly desperate attempt to curry favor with the president. Elon Musk joined the trend Tuesday afternoon, posting AI-generated images of himself embracing Shrek, apparently believing Trump was attempting to start a meme.
The president appeared personally offended.
“YOU WISH!!! SHREK DOESN’T DATE FARQUAADS!!!” Trump posted moments later before announcing the cancellation of several SpaceX contracts, sending the company’s stock tumbling.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu also attempted to insert himself into the discourse.
“President Trump jokes all the time that I resemble Shrek,” Netanyahu told reporters. “These beautiful images only reaffirm his unwavering commitment to Israel.”
Trump responded within minutes by posting another AI image showing himself and Shrek embracing while Netanyahu plays the cuckolded lover, with the caption, “WITTLE BABY BIBI IS JUST JEALOUS.”
Not to be left out, even Iran has jumped into the fray, posting a Lego diss track with lyrics such as “Shrek need an Ayatollah with some rizz, not some pedo president choking on Epstein [expletive].”
If the track was an attempt to strike a nerve, it failed. Many reports from within the White House claim that Trump turned the video off after only a few seconds and returned to his near-religious viewing of the Shrek franchise.
Cabinet officials have privately expressed concern over the president’s growing fixation.
“Yesterday we had forty minutes scheduled to discuss tariffs,” said one aide. “Thirty-eight of those minutes were devoted to whether DreamWorks should release an adults-only director’s cut.”
Sources inside the meeting say Trump repeatedly insisted,
“I want to see more. Much more. Not too much. Nothing sexual. But some HBO action would be nice. You know... full-frontal Shrek at half-mast. Half-mast is classy. I bet he’s bigger than Arnold Palmer.”
When reporters later asked whether he had personally generated the artwork, the president smiled coyly.
“A lot of people are making these pictures,” Trump replied. “I’m just sharing them. But whoever made them is a tremendously talented artist. Massively talented.”
It’s sad when you read this and have to wonder if it’s satire.
First! Which feels appropriate because I wanted to applaud before the crowd showed up.
This is gloriously unhinged satire. Every paragraph escalates the absurdity without losing the voice, and that image… I honestly don’t know whether to compliment the writing or the graphic first. Both are ridiculously good.