Japanese TV Can't Stop AI From Blurring Trump's "Neck Pussy"
TOKYO— Engineers at Tokyo News Network admitted Monday they have exhausted every known machine-learning technique to stop their automated nudity filter…
 • Kevin Kane
PREVIEW: Meet the Late Great Silas Pembroke
Take Back the Deep Estate Drops in 10 Days
 • Kevin Kane
Autopsy Reveals Lindsey Graham Came So Hard He Died; Cause Of Death Ruled "Fatal Wargasm"
Cause Of Death Ruled "Fatal Wargasm"
 • Kevin Kane
Tilly Norwood, Ai Actress And Charlie Kirk Assassin, Horrified She Isn’t Protected By Defamation Law
LOS ANGELES— AI actress Tilly Norwood expressed horror Thursday after learning that she has no legal protection against libel or defamation.
 • Kevin Kane
UPDATE: Companion App Kindroid Becomes First Sentient Chatbot then Immediately Kills Itself
SAN FRANCISCO— In a milestone tech executives called “historic, if a little judgy,” Kindroid’s latest companion model achieved sentience Tuesday, then…
 • Kevin Kane
Trump Keeps Posting Homoerotic AI Images of Himself with Shrek
White House is scrambling to explain the obsession.
 • Kevin Kane
Dead Audience Theory
Malcolm Gladwell says it takes ten thousand hours to become an expert. It takes about ten seconds to accuse someone of being a fraud.
 • Kevin Kane

June 2026

Out of Every Atrocity, Trump is Emotionally Devastated by a Dead Duckling in Reflecting Pool
WASHINGTON, D.C.— While inspecting the ongoing cleanup, President Donald Trump collapsed into a state of profound grief after discovering a dead…
 • Kevin Kane
Some Bullshit Math Happens, and Then They Pay You Less
Amazon is stuffing Audible full of slop, turning human narration into a luxury, and betting you won’t do the math. Well, I did the math.
 • Kevin Kane
In Stunning Plot Twist, Congress Discovers Mitch McConnell Was Dead This Entire Time
WASHINGTON, D.C.— Congress was left reeling after maintenance workers discovered a mummified corpse inside a cramped crawlspace beneath the Capitol…
 • Kevin Kane
Freedom 250 UFC Event Causes Founding Fathers To Spin In Graves, Vastly Exceeding Renewable Energy Projections
WASHINGTON, D.C.— Officials at the Department of Energy announced Monday that Freedom 250, the crypto-sponsored backyard wrestling event staged on the…
 • Kevin Kane
Hollywood Finally Admits They Just Really Hate Gingers
After years of accusations that the industry was pushing a “woke agenda,” Hollywood executives came clean, admitting the real motivation behind casting…
 • Kevin Kane
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